I had so wanted to get on here and write. I have a couple of trips past and recent to tell you about; a number of equipment reviews; a recipe or two. And then, I didn't want to get on here and write. It seemed like a chore. So, I listened to that.
Pictured: A view thorough a long driftwood tunnel
This was unusual for me, to listen to myself. I am used to pushing through, and pushing myself. But GoSoloCamp is my passion project~ and how do you do a passion project when you feel drained and sort of listless about the thing?
This year, camping has not been as planned. My first trip was almost all rain, and it was HARD, and I was missing my mom while I was trying to set up, and everything was wet and muddy. The next trip, I didn't feel well, so it got moved to September. This coming trip comes after a bout of recent illness; and after consideration, I changed campgrounds to one that is quite close, so I don't have a long drive before the effort of setting up and a long drive back after take down. If things aren't going well, it is relatively easy to get home, compared to my usual stays.
It's just been a time when things that I usually look forward to seem overwhelming, a bit daunting, and kind of distant. Like the ocean as viewed through this old driftwood log at Fort Flagler, I could only see a small piece of what I love about camping, and it seemed far away. It's hard to summon joy about them. And that led to worry, that perhaps I was falling out of love with solo camping. Perhaps I didn't have anything more to share of value, to inspire.
But, as I say in my intro - I came back to GoSoloCamp is not just a camping manual, and some tasty camp vittles. It's a feeling. And the feeling includes this. The not-always ideal. It's like a rainy camping trip... many moments will be "why am I even doing this?" moments, it turns out. They will not always be sunny-day-blue-skies-hammock moments. So it's important that I share it all, because that is the total experience.
So, sometimes, I just can't. And there are your times when sometimes you maybe just can't. So I am here to say, don't. Take time, take breaths, take a beat. Take what you need. Don't push through.
And don't worry. If it is meant for you, it will return to you. The enthusiasm, the anticipation, the drive, the revel. And when you encounter it again, when it stops being an eddy and starts to flow, you will find genuine passion in it once more.
It's not "fake it till you make it."
It's reprieve, and receive.
"Patience. Finding serenity in the process. Accepting things won't go as planned and will unfold in their own time. When the greatest gifts in life are the ones worth waiting for." ~ Unknown